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If you've been reading my journals for a while, you may wonder why all the changes: change of name, change of look and layout, change of webspace provider... It's because I'm ready for change. The biggest change in my life -- leaving the nest -- is only about two months away as I write this (March 23, 1999). My fianceé, Jevim, will be graduating on May 15th, and after that we'll be moving together to the Roanoke area of Virginia, and I will be living away from home (on a permanent basis) for the first time.
I feel like I've worked myself into quite a rut the past several years, living here in Missouri. I've never really been content living here -- it's too small a town, I don't have friends my age to spend time with, and living with Mom has grown harder and harder -- but I've gotten comfortable in the old routines, even though I feel like they aren't really getting me anywhere. So to keep myself from settling into the same old ruts again once I move to be with Jev, I want to change everything, as much as possible. Changing my journal is something significant, that I can do before the whole move takes place.
Good question.... I thought for a long time about what the new name was going to be. Since I'm leaving my old life behind, I figured it was time to leave the old title behind, too. I thought about using Lisana's Brand New Life or just Brand New Life, but it just didn't sound right; the first was too much like the old title, and the second... well... it just didn't touch me.
Her heart's desire.... the phrase brings to mind for me all of one's fondest wishes and dreams. The only way to have those things is to reach for them, and keep reaching until you get them; the first step on that path is figuring out what those things are. That's where I am right now. It seems to fit.
The new look just goes along with the rest. Looking back at my old moon background, I think in a way I was trying to convey how lonely and solitary I feel here. It fit, at the time, but now it does not.
I love sunshine... I swear that I must be part cat, because there's nothing more energizing for me than curling up in a comfy spot in the sun, and reading or stitching, or doing something equally as relaxing. So, my new design reflects that: blue skies and bright sunshine.
I'm using Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) for my layout now. If you don't have a newer browser (Netscape 4.5 or MSIE 4.x or later), things may not look as I intended. Hopefully, they will still be readable to you. If you're having a problem with it, let me know what browser you're using, and what the problem is, and I'll look into it and see what I can do.