Uphill Climb

Tuesday, March 16, 1999

Today started off strangely. For the first few hours, I thought it was going to be a bad day... after the exchange Jev and I had before bed last night, I thought he was upset with me, and naturally that was not a good start. Add to that the fact that my stomach was acting up -- probably because of the vitamin c and aspirin I took on an empty stomach -- and I started worrying that maybe I was getting sick, or worse that it might be morning sickness. Call me paranoid... if I didn't hate doctors so much, I'd be a great hypochondriac!

Jev hopped online and we talked, and he told me he'd posted a journal entry last night, which I then went to read... he hadn't been mad at me, he was mad at himself. I just took some of the things he said the wrong way, and of course that made matters worse at the time, mostly for me.

After we talked, I started feeling a bit better, and my stomach decided it would behave, but I was still feeling rather down and dejected. Jev headed off to classes, and though I knew I should tackle some of my classes that I'm so far behind in, I decided to just take it easy and goof off and be nice to myself, so I played games for a while. Then took a walk around the house to see all the plants and shrubs budding out.

Mom headed out to a senior function put on by the bank for St. Patrick's Day, and I decided to do the dishes. I hate doing them when she tells me to, and I'm not too fond of doing them when she asks me to. But if she's not around, and I see they need doing, most of the time I'll tackle them and not mind at all.

Just as I was finishing up, Julie called, to tell Mom that she was back from California. She'd had to fly down to go with a friend to her son's funeral, and had just gotten in last night, and Mom had left a message on her machine. She was at work, so we didn't talk for long, but when we hung up, she said she loved me, and that made me smile. I guess I just needed to hear someone say that right then, because after that, my day got better.

Later, when Mom got back, she brought me a box of chocolate covered cherries, and when she noticed I'd done the dishes, she said thank you. Guess sometimes it pays to do things just to be nice. (No, the cherries weren't because I'd done something for her, they were part of her spoils from he function she'd attended; and yes, I remembered to tell her that Julie had called.)

This afternoon I played games again, then hopped online not too long after Jev got back. We talked, then played games until he was ready to go get dinner. Now he's working on a project for class, and I've been reading, stitching, playing with the cat and answering e-mail.

I haven't been getting enough sleep for a while, so I'm going to try to get into bed by ten tonight, even if I don't go to sleep right away. I know if I keep pushing myself, I'm going to regret it later.