Human Again

Easter Sunday, April 4, 1999

I'm feeling much better today... now I'm just dealing with minor monthly cramps and a little bit of the emotional roller coaster... hardly anything after the last couple days. What a relief!

I had a nice day... nothing special, really. Jev went to have lunch with his parents, so I spent the morning and early afternoon out in the living room, watching movies with mom and then by myself when she went to take a nap. We had green beans, potatoes and ham for lunch and dinner, and she made a batch of brownies, which I've made significant inroads on (about 1/3 of the pan now?)... greatly satisfying my need for chocolate. I didn't know the mix was in there, when I was so desparate on Friday; but then I really didn't feel like making them, so...

After a bath this afternoon, I was feeling a lot more like myself, and I came back to the computer and goofed off until Jev got back. Still no reply to that last e-mail I sent my (former?) friend, so I guess that's over, regrettably.

We had a good thing going there, and I admit, I'm at least partially responsible for our falling-out. I'm sure my major moodiness problems and all had a big impact on it as well, but I'm not going to beg and plead for her to make up, and I'm not going to wait and wonder and worry about it. If she should write back, then maybe we can still work something out; if not, then I think we have both lost something... that's just the way that life goes.

Once Jev got back, we chatted and watched FOX for a couple hours, and then did some car comparing online. I got more involved in that tonight than I usually do, and once Jev climbed up in bed, he commented on it and said that he was glad... I just sometimes feel like I may try to say what I think about something when he asks, but then he explains how he thinks things should be, without ever giving me a chance to finish.

Unfortunately, I'm extremely sensitive about that sort of thing, and the more often he does it, the less likely I am to make any comments or suggestions in the future. Something we both need to work on.... and that I think (or at least hope) we will be better about in the future; expressions can convey quite a bit, and you just don't get that talking over the computer. We both kicked up a little dust tonight, but in the end, everything was pretty okay.

Jev has been really great this weekend... between listening and putting in his thoughts where the friend/email thing was concerned, being supportive and caring when I was freaking out with pms mood swings and all that, and when I was just downright feeling rotten.... he's made this weekend a lot easier than it might have been, otherwise. He's a pretty great guy... *smile*

No chocolate bunnies to bite the ears (or tail!) off of this Easter.... but the brownies were darn good, and Mom did creep into my room at about 6 this morning, to leave a card on my desk. I, of course, didn't get her a card... I'm really bad about those sorts of things... I guess Hallmark hasn't brainwashed me yet!