Interview with a Journaler

Well, it's about time you got back here, Lis!

Yeah, I know... I've been kind of out of the mood lately.

So what's been going on with you, to put you out of the mood?

I dunno... I just really don't know where my life has been going lately. From what Jev said yesterday, he's afraid we're going to get in a rut, and I'm afraid of that too. This is his third week of work now, and I spend most of my days cleaning house, and lazing around playing computer/video games, or soaking in the tub with a good book. I just feel like I should be doing more.

Lis, last week you wore yourself down so far... why do you think you need to be doing more?

I ... I guess it's not that I need to be doing more, but that I need to be doing something of a more permanent nature. You know, something that's not going to go on the supper table tonight and disappear, or that's not just been washed, only to get dirty again tomorrow and need to be washed all over.

But, feeding yourself and Jev and the cats is something useful and necessary, isn't it? And isn't it nice to look around the apartment and see things in their places, and the floor swept, the dishes put away and the counters clean?

Yeah, but... I want to do something more. I want to do something with myself.

Like what?

Oh, I don't know... sit down and write a book; learn to program, create some useful little computer accessory; stitch that wedding sampler, after finishing all my accumulated unfinished objects...

Sheesh, you sure don't want much, do you? You know, it would help if you actually sat down and made a stab at some of these things... they're not going to magically get done on their own.

I know... I just don't know where to start, or where to find the time, or the energy...

If you really to do those things, just sit down and think, and you'll find the place to start.

But I want to finish unpacking all these boxes and get things in order; I want to make coasters for the living room, and an organizer for our bathroom; I need to make up the beds for company -- that has to be done today -- and I should sweep the floors, clean the litter, and do a load of laundry. By time I do all that, it will be time to fix dinner, and I'll be too tired to do much else.

Sounds to me like you need a housekeeper.

That'd be nice... but it's not gonna happen. At least not any time soon. I suppose I should get back to work.

But not until you've updated things here, okay?

Okay... I've started thinking about giving this up again, you know.

Yes, I know. Maybe you've needed a bit of a vacation, but I hope that it doesn't last too much longer. Some day you'll come back and want to remember what these first few months that you and Jev are finally together were like. Weekdays while Jev's gone may not be a lot of fun, but you do seem to be enjoying the time you do have together.

It's been a month and a day now since graduation, just about the longest you've ever had together; think you're going to make it?

Yeah, I think so. I do really need to get the rest of the moving things cleared away and the apartment in order the rest of the way. Then maybe I'll be able to sit down and tackle the things I really want to do, or at least figure out a schedule that works so I have some time to devote to those things.

Sounds like a plan. I'll let you go do what you need to get this online now. Have a good afternoon.

Thanks... and thanks to you readers for sticking around. Sorry I've been so out of touch lately; there's been a lot going on in my mind, and by avoiding the journal, I've been able to avoid thinking about it some. I may be off again tomorrow and Friday, as I hope to have some company while Jev's off to a meeting, but I'll try to keep up with entries at least, and post something new over the weekend.